How.Long Is The Movie Bring The Soul.Going To Be.In The.Theaters.Comfor 10 Reasons Why You Are Still Single and How to Change Them

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10 Reasons Why You Are Still Single and How to Change Them

You know when you’ve created a space for a new partner, because they will be there in abundance.

So, if you are single, it actually means something, or someone is filling the space that needs to be a vacuum, unoccupied by a relationship.

Here are some really common “Vacuum Fillers:”

  1. The Ex. Friendship with an ex partner can fill the vacuum that’s essential for a new love to enter your life. There is a huge difference between friendly and friendship. Friendly with your ex partner means you might communicate occasionally, friendship and vacuum filler means they ring you or you ring them every day. That’s going to block new love entering. Be friendly, not friends with ex partners.
  2. You’ve become your own partner… You can get so user friendly with your own company that you become your own partner. You cook for yourself, you clean your own home, you masturbate for pleasure, you take baths with candles for romance, you watch movies alone. Who could intrude on that perfect world that would make it better other than some fantasy person who makes love all night, cleans your house, and turns into a nice cup of coffee in the morning. You have to be careful that you don’t become the perfect partner and therefore leave no space for the lover who will bring mess and life and challenge and compromise.
  3. You’ve created a Mr or Mrs Perfect in your mind based on some crazy notion of a half-person. Try love instead of expectations as the criteria for allowing people into your life. Half people just don’t exist other than in your fantasies, which is why we have them, fantasies or affairs. You’ll see adverts for relationships with half people like this: I want a clean, happy, healthy person who loves gardening, romance and travel. What about the other half of that human being who isn’t clean, who is unhappy. We all too often infatuated with the public persona of people and resent the other half, which, by the way, always, 100% of the time, exists (no matter what people say)
  4. Relationships with Higher Beings, including your own. In the universe nothing is ever missing. Sometimes we replace that vacuum in our lives that was meant to be filled by a partner with a God, Yoga, Yoga teacher or even meditation practice. These things are not the highest level of human existence, they are subordinate to a relationship with a real human being. If you can’t find God in the eyes of a lover, you won’t find God. It’s probably one of the most common “vacuum fillers” to form an intimate relationship with your soul, God, yoga guru, pet or teacher. Reserve that sacred place for a lover, nothing and nobody should be higher.
  5. Ego. Sometimes we replace a relationship with another person by becoming self-obsessed. In this mission we start becoming hyper sensitive, self invested, trying to look good, feel good, be good. It is in fact turning our love inward, which leads to allergies, hypochondria and addiction to self-development. The whole key to a relationship with another person is that our “self” is sorted out in our daily hour of self-absorption so we become available for others for the other 23 hours. If you start worrying about improving yourself for more than an hour a day, or if your health sucks you inward to deal with pain or discomfort more than an hour a day, you have formed the relationship you were meant to have with another human being, with yourself. Turning up for love means not being distracted by YOU. Anything that makes you look inward for more than an hour a day prevents you turning up for another person in relationship.
  6. Substitutes. There are four substitutes for love and a great relationship. They are Food (and Substances like Alcohol and drugs), Greed (obsession with success and control), Sex (the obsession with being attracted, approved of and attractive to others), Spirituality (the desire to escape to a land of milk and honey beyond reality). These substitutes make living in the real nitty, gritty world of love and relationship impossible.
  7. Blame. Sometimes people break up from a past relationship and say “I’ll never be in a relationship like that again” and of course, that closes down the field. Then they try again and say “I want to be in a relationship like that next time” and they close down the field.:Love means clearing the past so we don’t start running away from people or running toward people. We need to love the past in order to love the future. Sometimes this blame game, “he did this bad, or she did that good” causes us to make the criteria for a new relationship so fictitious that the only person we can possibly go out with is someone we don’t know very well and ten minutes into that date we close down because we “sniff” an old behaviour we judged in the past. It’s wise to know that everyone has every trait and therefore, there’s no one to run from, no one to run toward, there’s just someone and they have every trait but might express it or repress it.
  8. No vision. If you’ve lost your vision for the future and are hoping that Mr or Mrs RIght will come along and help you make a future, then it’s going to load all potential meetings with unrealistic anticipation and send potential partners running for the hills. Only a desperate person would connect in relationship with a person who lost their dream, and that connection would be sex or something equally trivial. Vision magnetises people to each other. It glues couples together. And 66% of every person’s vision is independent of their relationship. If two people have the same vision, one person isn’t necessary. If only one person in a relationship has vision, then the parasitic attachment of another person might feel good at first, but after a while it’ll become claustrophobic and there will be a desire to shake free. Not having your own clear vision in all seven areas of life loads a potential relationship with too much burden and with this false expectation most potential relationships don’t get past “hello.”
  9. Young ideas in an Older Body… When we are 20 years old hormones rush around our body driving us to infatuation with a partner. Infatuation makes us horny, fertile and virile so, infatuation is nature’s way of propagating the specie. That’s how we get pregnant. As time marches on hormones give way to visions and purpose as the reason to mate. At around 40 those infatuation hormones are still there but our attitude to life is wiser, infatuation is not a chosen mindset. It’s too young and filled with naivety. So, it’s possible a person can evaluate potential partners based on hormone response to them (how horny you get in their presence) when, at the ripe age of 40 there could be a whole other measure of the perfect partner. Maybe even someone you can work with or at the least, converse with.
  10. Pain. So, you got hurt and you don’t want to be hurt again so you become a little cautious with meeting people and letting them inside your safe haven inside your heart and mind. Of course, this is going to keep you single. You need to get past the fear of pain. The first thing to do is know how to handle it if it happens again. Surely, if you’ve processed the pain of the past well, you’d know that you’d handle it again in a tenth the time. Second, you can find benefits that came from that pain, so there would be benefits again. Third, you don’t have to have pain in order to benefit from it. You can learn and grow in a relationship as long as you stay humble, don’t start taking your partner’s love for granted and learn the sort of things you learned from pain, without waiting that long.

Nature abhors a vacuum. If something fills the vacuum you are single but, you are in a relationship with something other than a significant other. There must be a vacuum for a relationship to enter.

Single is not nature’s intention for anyone. It’s not nature’s way. But there’s another principle in nature that nothing is ever missing, it just changes in form. So, if you are single (in the classic sense) then really, according to nature you are not single, just you’ve filled the vacuum that nature would automatically fill with a lover, with yourself, a fantasy partner, an icon.

Relationships are simple, nature doesn’t intend “singldom” for anyone, but if we fill that space with ex partners, affairs, masturbation, pets, fantasies, self-obsession, spiritual connections and food, then, there isn’t allot of room for the real thing.

Find love, be spiritual. Empty out the “Void Fillers.”

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